Will I be okay again?

I recently went through a traumatic experience (rape) about a month and a half ago and I attempted suicide twice within that time frame... was put on a 72 hr hold... and now am seeing an ASTOP counselor. Am I going to be able to reach the point I was at before this happenened to me? Will I stop thinking that the world would be better off with out me in it? Will I not have to be so paranoid about everything? (This was not the first time i was raped... the first i was six years old i am 20 now) Will i get past the flashbacks of both events? Will I be okay?
Answer:
Hey hon,

Let me just start by saying that no, you will never be the person you were before you were raped. You will always be different, because it happened to you and it cannot be undone. But the pain will not last forever, and you will get better. You be stronger and wiser for what happened.

You are going through one of the worst times imaginable right now, and I am so glad your suicide attempt didn't work. You deserve to be in this world, and the world needs you here. The flashbacks will get better. You will eventually be less paranoid. But it might take some time and work.

I am glad you are seeing a counselor. Please stick to it. This is hard work, surviving, but it does get easier. Think of like you were in a car accident. You would hurt afterward. You would need physical therapy. You might have to take medication to help manage the pain. You might have some after effects of the injury forever. But eventually you will heal.

It's going to be okay. You did not deserve any of this. You are stronger than the people who did this to you. You will get better. You are not alone. Keep repeating that.

Some links that might help you:
http://www.rainn.org
http://www.pandys.org
http://www.survivingtothriving.org...
http://www.aswaterspassingby.org...

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When anybody has a traumatic experience, they're never the same person as before. But depending on how you look at it, that can be a good thing. Think of how proud you'll feel when you overcome the destructive state of mind you're in now.

The more confident you are in your ability to deal with these issues, the sooner you'll be able to reach a more positive frame of mind.

It's your choice wether or not to define yourself by the feelings you're experiencing now, or to focus on the positive aspects of your life.

Feel the pain, but work towards making your life what you want it to be. I'm very sorry to hear you've had to go through this. Good luck.

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Give yourself time and work with your counselor. You should be able to get your life back but, it's going to take some time. Just be patient. Your couselor will help you through it. That's what they're trained for.

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Let me COMMEND you for your courage to share your traumatic experience with the others within ByeDr.coms. You have taken the first major step in your HEALING - you've spoken up about your pain!! You will be able to get through this. It will take some time, but DO NOT GIVE UP. What was done to you is NOT YOUR FAULT!!

I'm not sure where you are geologically located but I've found some links that I pray will be helpful to you.

YOU WILL BE OK. I will keep you in my prayers..

God Bless..
Psalm 91 (please read when you have an opportunity)

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YOU deserve to be in the world.
I know it's hard to get through a traumatic experience.
I know.
But suicide is not going to solve your problems.
and all those people who say it's "the coward's way out" don't understand depression.
It's not easy to forget about a traumatic experiance, but you need to move on with your life and whatever doesn't kill you only makes you stronger.
you've already shown courage by bringing this out.

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yes..... STAY STRONG

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I think you're amazing for sounding as 'together' as you do - you've had a terrible time of it.

I know this sounds like a cliche, but time does make a difference, and you WILL feel better, and there are good things ahead for you. You just have to accept that for now, you're not going to feel great, as you've been through a terrible ordeal.

I hope your counsellor is good? Also that you're getting a lot of support from your friends and family, if they know what you've been through.

I think you are fully entitled to be, as you put it, 'paranoid' given what you've experienced. I think that with time you will relax, though.

Have you been offered any type of anti depressant medication? If not, it's something to consider, it can really help. If you do go this route, remember they take a few weeks to kick in, and also that you need to be on the right dose, as well as the right medication.

Have you joined some kind of support group; just wondering if it might help you at all.

I really hope you start to feel better soon - and that with time, and some help, you will recover a bit of optimism and find things to look forward to.

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I don't know what to tell you, but if you need to talk I am here

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I wish I knew where to begin. You are likely suffering from Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), which is the same thing so many Vietnam vets came back from the war with. Symptoms will include flashbacks, hyper-vigilance, major depression, trust issues (especially with men), to name just a few. You might want to see a psychiatrist and get put on some meds. It is typical to first see yourself as a victim (it was not your fault, after all), then as a survivor (because you don't want to keep being a victim all your life), and finally define yourself by something else other than the rape (career goals, relationships, etc.). Good luck in your healing process!

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