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Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Will anyone be able to help?

i am a carer to my mum, i have been since i was 10 and im now 20. I have never had a holiday away from her coz when i have had a holiday she has always been there aswell. i am married but cant afford to move out so am still living with my parents. my mum isnt able to really look after herself and my dad aint any help. i havent had much of a life as its always been around mum. what can i do?
Answer:
You're a good daughter. I have to agree with the others, contact Social Services, they will set her up with a in house nurse that visits once a day and cleans her house and prepares her meals. They will only prepare food for her though. You didn't say what part of the world that you live in. If you live in the U.S., there is a world of help out there to help you take care of her.
You could always turn the back yard into a plant nursery, for an income for yourself. But, you really need some time to yourself so that you can go on holiday.
Thank You for being there to take care of your Mom. But, who's going to take care if YOU?
Get some much needed help, you've done your share, it's time for you to start enjoying your life!
Do you have any help from Social Services? Contact them as soon as possible to find out what you and your Mum are entitled to.

Good luck.
Put her in a home. Your father too.
Speak to social services. They will arrange for a carer to come in to your mum regularly to enable to you to get on with your life.x
You need to contact social services to see what help they can provide for you and your mum.
You can get a carers allowance this would mean you would only need to work part time and they would probably give you an allowance towards your rent. Also there are organisation's that will look after your mum if you want a holiday. I'm sure she would understand that you want to go away with your husband for a short while on your own.
There is several organisations out their who will help you, your social services will advise you on the best ones
For your mother contact your state or provincial social services. they may help getting her into a nursing home. or get a home worker to come in. For you check in to low income housing Service clubs : Lions Rotary, legions,churches and govt. have housing based on income.. The lions clubs in some cities have housing 25 % of your income...Is your husband supporting you?
These answerers are correct. Ask your Social Services dept.

My sister worked as a in-home caregiver for an elderly woman. She was interviewed by the woman's family. The arrangement was that she would cook and clean the woman's house and, in return, she would stay there expense free. They required her to stay every evening until the kitchen was cleaned up after dinner and she could leave every other weekend when the woman's family would come to take care of her.

My sister was happy with the arrangement and became good friends with the woman.
Since you can't bear to leave your mum, you might as well ask her to move in with you. Plus, your dad, of course. You're like me. I've always been with my mum. Never really left her except for camps and for one overseas trip. I don't think i can bear to leave her too.
your dr should be able to tell you were you cen get help but if not go to the c. a .b.
Get in touch with social services ASAP They should find someone like a carer to look after your mum.YOU DESERVE A HOLIDAY,
Hi Vicky : I know it is hard. Cant you and your husband hire someone? Like a babysitter??Maybe for the weekend. So you two could get away.You and your husband are the only children in the family??That is the only thing I can think of. You are going to have to hire a person to come in and watch her while you and your husband go out for a week end. Good Luck hon.
Well..You could call social services and see what they can do explain your problems and they will help you..If you have any family members that can watch you mother for a little while so you can go out and have fun that would be good too i hope that you figure this thing out and good luck.
I am an alternative medicinal therapist and an ex nurse. I know how you feel I had just the same but I suddenly realised that I needed a life. I ended up putting my father in a home but I got there so that I could keep an eye on him. Your father could look after her he just wont all the time you are doing it. It is his job not yours, he married her in sickness and in health. Unless he is ill there is no excuse.You have done your bit so don't feel guilty. They have had their lives and its not fair to expect you to give yours up entirely. Go and live your life, he will cope he will have to. You could always go to your social services they may give her some help with a carer.

gloriashealth@btinternet.com
Hi Vicky Life must be very hard for you what is wrong with your Mum and what care does she need do you know that you are entitled to carers allowances if you are looking after your Mum for more than 5 hours a day contact me back we will chat if you like I may be able to help or support you a little
You may not like this answer, but what you are doing IS a life, I have been a carer for thirty one years, and as for a holiday, what is that? However, once you realise that what you are doing is NOT forever, and it IS a life that you are living, it will get a little better for you. Look at it differently, from a positive view.

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