Will my family ever abadon me?

When I was 10 yrs old my mom got divorced from my dad.That same year she got a new boyfriend when they would go out I would worry about where they had gone and why they were out so late.one time they went out and one of my sisters said that she was going to leave me and go live with her boyfriend and i would never see her again.she said that just to make me cry thats how mean my sisters would be.I am now 16 yrs old and suffering from separtion anxiety.My other sister gave me an article to read about how we can harness the power of the universe to our advantage.It basically said that if I think positively positive things will happen and if I think negatively negative things will happen.So I can't stop thinking if I think my family will abondon me...will they?
any advice will help
Answer:
Please find an adult you respect and talk with them. Your sisters article is saying that thoughts become actions. To a degree that is true. If one is happy and has happy thoughts, their world is going to be a happy place. But just thinking the happy thoughts didn't make it happen. Most of it is in the way the person reacts to the things that happen to them. Having thoughts of family abandonment isn't going to make it happen. But it will make you apprehensive. Do talk it out with people you respect.

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you are now 16 and they are still there %26#92;go figure

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While what your sister is is true, if you think positive, positive will happen, and negative negative things will happen, it just is just a "rule."

I really don't think that your family will leave you. You should definitely talk to someone other than us faceless people from ByeDr.com to see what needs to happen.
Try talking to your family and see what they think about your separation anxiety. They may need to spend some extra time with you or something that proves that they will not leave you since that is your fear.

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I understand the thought process, kind of like if I think I'll get a headache, your body will actually produce one, although with something involving other people, it would be more difficult. You can not control what other people can do, you can only sit back and wait and see what happens. Perhaps you should talk to your parents about your anxiety, and maybe they can ease your mine.

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i think that when they do abandon u you will have ur own family and wont care as much. good luck p.s i'll never abandon u

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OK, no. First of all, that article about "if you think positive, positive things will happen and if you think negative, negative things will happen" is a crock of $h!t. Think about it for a minute. Half the people in the country hate George Bush, and yet he's still president, he's still in good health, and nothing bad ever happens to him. He hasn't been impeached yet, has he? Yet you can go on line and find all these people yelling, "Bush should be impeached!" So that right there shows you that thinking negative thoughts about someone, or about a situation, does NOT mean that negative things will happen.

You really should think about going to a counselor or therapist, because these are issues that you could get out in the open with a good counselor. A good therapist or counselor could help you figure out why you feel the way you feel, and more importantly, what you can do about it to help yourself.

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your family would never leave you willingly so don't worry

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Nothing you've said makes me think your family is going to abandon you. I would talk to your mom and your "other sister" about your negative thoughts and leave the cry-making sister out of the conversation. She's no help.

Therapists can also help you deal with your negative thoughts.

If you're 16 you'll probably leave your mom before she leaves you. Is that what the separation anxiety is about? A lot of teens go through that when they start planning to go off to university or leave the family home.

Looking for the positive instead of the negative is good advice, but don't judge yourself if you can't do it right away. Real change takes time.

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your mom will not abandon you!! I think you should talk to her about this.
your sister is a mean butt! Just kidding-she was probably just annoying you and didnt realize it would really bother you. talk to your mom!!

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you and your sister have eachother and that is whats important

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I can identify with you sooo much. My mother left me when I was 4. I am terribly sorry you were told those things. Fear of abandonment especially by the ones we love the most needs to be dealt with, with the help of a therapist. It is natural for those thoughts to be there now but your family is still there and more than likely will be but the fear is very real and with good reason, unfortunately. Yeah, positive thinking is great but it is a lot easier said than done when you have past issues to deal with from the past such as you have described. I do hope that you will talk to a therapist and they will be able to help get you through this so you can feel better and confident about your situation. You can email me anytime at jsbinal@yahoo.com I wish you the best~

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The article your sister gave you is about The Secret which is really nothing more than the power of positive thinking - which has been around forever and a day.

Okay. So what would happen to you without family? You would be forced to become more independant and more self-reliant. You'd find some inner strength and realize how strong you really are.

Eventually you'll create and have a family of your own but you need to work on your fears and insecurities before then or you'll end up driving people away.

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Long Answer: Well, I suspect not. That theory is not quite so black and white, its more abstract. The thing is, we live as mortals down here on earth, which means we are subject to dealing with a lotta crap we don't wanna deal with. Happens to all of us this "crap". The difference is the different mindset, which is what your sister was trying to help you with. See if you are thinking positively, the crap will still happen, you will just be able to handle it better than if all your doing is whining and moaning about "woe is you and look how bad I have it". The negative mindset is so busy feeling miserable about how much this sucks, that the problem never gets dealt with.

Short Answer: No, if you obsess about your family leaving, it will NOT CAUSE THEM TO LEAVE. It does sound however like you having obsessive/intrusive thoughts, and seeing a doctor about that might make you feel muuuuuch better.

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I dont think that if you say your family is going to abandon that it will happen.. but dont take this seriously but i've allways had this saying that i made up..
" Everyone Will End Up Leaving You"
It's just something i made up but i think its true. think about it eventually almost everyone will end up leaveing you. or you leave them.. like every year when school ends you leave all your teachers behind and your friends...everyone gose their sepreat way and if they dont then the will eventually
and some people are going to die and then they will leave you that way...and your going to leave your mom and move out hopefully when your 18... dont be to atached to your family that you dont ever want to leave them because thats not good anyway i hope you get over this feeling that your having that your family is going to abandon you because i know its a terable feeling but... your family is your family and thats somthing that never changes even if you want it to . (their alway going to be there!)

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am so sorry about you,but you don't tell where is your mother now,however,my advice is to believe in god that never abandont us,and think that your mother also have the right to live her life,the falt is there is no one take care of you,but believe that you an come over this problem,forgive your family,and think about your future,and days will heal your wound,if you see your problem is a big one you are false,i live with both mam and dad but god now how we suffered from my father especially my mam,but she cannot leave the house because she want to protect my brother , he treat my brother very bad since he was 1 year only ,now my brother is 25 years he dosent become sad whenever he remembered that,he get aseperate flat,never let any one to trouble him and he'll get married soon ,however,about you you can seperate from your family withen 2 years,and live this time by love,love your family then they will love you ,forgive them and never fall or repeat their falt in the future with your family,never think about your fears,life is short and worthy to live it,and you deserve happiness because compensation is the low of the life,one day your parants will repent of what they do,always think about your future and to be better in every thing and don't seek advice from your sisters because they also victims and don't do right things ,also make good friends (friends are best prescription)and appreciate the value of life,god will not leave you,and am sure you will meet a person who realy loves you

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You were abandoned by your dad. Then your mom left you to go out with a stranger. Your sisters are probably just as hurt but they feel powerful by scaring you. So you have this fear from past experience.
If you can talk to someone you trust, do. It's OK to be afraid, to feel fear, to think scary thoughts. You are still vulnerable. Life is hard, bro. But you made it the last six years from when you were little.
Think about it, fear is OK. It is telling you something. Probably you don't know what to do when you are 18 and out. Maybe consider some plans, ask our friends what they plan to do, look into a trade at a Community College. Nursing pays well and so do many trades. Go visit.
Dream of a future where you have power over your life. Read about people who came from less than perfect families who went on to achieve. Rent The Power of Happyness or another inspiring story. You are not alone.

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